I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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