Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
