You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
why do cheetos always look like penises
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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