my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
