Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
