I hate your face
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize