you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
