Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize