oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
