Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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