New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize