You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
