I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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