Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
