going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Im part way to drunk.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Randomize
