Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
