Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
