I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
