you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
