I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
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