Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
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