you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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