hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
