This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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