ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
