She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
