As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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