Kiss
Puke
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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