Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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