So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
