i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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