DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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