Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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