Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize