I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
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