They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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