Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
i now understand why vodka
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
