Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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