I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I looked at my own cervix.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
