No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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