Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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