You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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