Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
