i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
