I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Randomize
