drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
