just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
