see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
