I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
