If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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