so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
