After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
All the doctor said was why
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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