Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
