i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize