nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
