is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
