allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
