your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
