If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
