I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
