So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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