did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Randomize
