How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize