We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
