I think I just saw someone hide a body.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
