there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
