Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
and you fell through a lawn chair
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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