Have you finally orgasmed yet?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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