there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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