well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
