well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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