I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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