drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
