Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
