i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
