Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
