Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
