8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
You made out with two different species that night
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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