How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
