How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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