I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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