last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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