porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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