Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I touched a dick in church today
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
