you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
