You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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